A ME DAY WAS SO NEEDED!!
After having a panic attack on Monday whilst in the middle of the work day (#embarrasing you cannot believe). I knew that on Tuesday I needed to take the time to restore myself. For the first time in months I actually got dressed, did my makeup and left the house. I decided to go to Mollie’s Diner for the first time, It’s supposed to be an authentic American diner (Americans please enter the chat!!!🦅🇺🇸). It took me about 2 hours to convince myself whether to leave the house or not.
I finally left the house and was greeted with the nicest server ever, he insisted he took a pic of me with my first Mollie’s shake and we literally took a selfie together!! I got myself a chocolate Oreo hard milkshake with way more vodka in it than I was expecting. I sat reading my book and eating fried pickles with a mustard mayo that went way better than I could’ve imagined especially when I don’t like mayo or mustard! I ordered a Pastrami Swiss which was so yummy but my eyes were bigger than my belly I could only eat the sandwich, I could barely touch the fries and the onion rings were a foolish endeavour (I hope the kitchen staff got to scran my wastefulness).
Then I met my bestie in chinatown and we went to an arts and craft cafe, drank boba and chatted shit/ ranted which was so needed!! I made a phone case and she decorated a mirror. We ended the night getting shisha and tea at our favourite lounge. It was so needed but later that night the insecurity monster struck. The nausea and insomnia demons were next! So this morning after vomitting twice at the thought of work and crying whilst on the phone with a customer I feared that my restorative day wasn’t as restorative as I needed. I wish I could have a good day and then ride that wave of happiness instead of immediately suffering. I guess having a great day made me all the more aware of how much I’m struggling in my normal day to day. My room is a state and I just about manage to clean myself and log in to work. Today as I write I’ve already had two customers yell at me. I’ve called 111 for my symptoms they sent me to the pharmacy and they sent me to the GP which sent me back to 111 that sent me back to the GP. I’m feeling pretty lost emotionally.
Yours Hopefully,
Isabisa ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡